I Only Speak For You
by Martian Goddess
Summary: A horror from her past haunts her future. Aurora had not made a single sound since she was 10. Now she is Head Girl alongside the biggest, and most arrogant, player Hogwarts had ever seen. Or is he?
1. Chapter 1

I Only Speak For You

Chapter One

Hi. My name is Aurora Johnson. And before you say anything, yes, I'm muggleborn and yes, my mum is obsessed with Sleeping Beauty.

So, now you know my name. But a name doesn't really say much about a person. So I should probably tell you a little more about myself before I start my story.

First, I'm a witch. Muggleborn, like I said. Second, I currently attend Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry and am in Gryffindor. Except I'm not British. Not really at least. My mum is British but my dad's American and that's where I was raised. So I've picked up some British phrases from my mum (like the fact that I call her 'mum') but I'm also very American.

I am also starting my seventh year at Hogwarts tomorrow. And a bit more importantly, I was made Head Girl. So I'm quite nervous for how tomorrow is going to go. Because there's one really, really important thing I haven't mentioned yet.

I don't talk. Ever.

Now, don't go making assumptions. I suffer from what is called selective mutism by muggle psychologists. This basically means that I want to talk, and I'm physically capable of talking, but, I just, can't. But I wasn't always like this. I was completely normal (well, as normal as someone with unknown magical powers can be) until I was ten years old. I don't much want to reiterate why or how things changed, but all you really need to know is that I haven't said a word since.

That is why I'm so nervous about school tomorrow. I don't know what Professor McGonagall was thinking making me Head Girl. I may be a perfect student but that's because I have no friends so I spend all my time studying. And I have no clue who the Head Boy is.

I am so screwed.

* * *

So, after getting practically no sleep last night, I am now on the platform. Mum has said her goodbyes and my stuff is on the train. In the Heads' compartment. With me. Waiting for the Head Boy to show.

Another reason why McGonagall is crazy to pick me. I wasn't even a prefect. So I have no clue what I'm doing and no clue even who the possibilities for Head Boy are.

Oh no. The door is opening. Oh my. Oh my oh my oh my. Louis Weasley. _He's_ _Head Boy_. Louis Weasley. Model student. Weasley. Detention-free record. And the biggest player Hogwarts has ever seen. Stupid Veela charm. He uses it to get any girl he wants to fall all over him. Honestly, I'm pretty sure that I'm the only girl in our year that he hasn't screwed.

"Hi. Louis Weasley. Head Boy Extraordinaire. At your service."

He can't really be that conceited. Can he? I nod so he knows I was listening.

"Think you're too good to talk to the likes of me? Well, we'll see how long that lasts with us sharing a dormitory."

Oh Merlin. I swear if he tries to bring his girls into our dorm I'm going to castrate him myself. I might have smacked him right then except the prefects started filing in.

Luckily for me, Weasley takes charge of the meeting and runs through everything before sending the prefects on their way.

Not so luckily, he doesn't leave with them. And now he's talking again.

"So, are you ever going to say anything? Anything at all?"

No. And McGonagall really should have explained that to you.

"Hello? You in there?"

You are so freaking obnoxious. Hoping to get him to shut up, I get out a scrap of parchment and a muggle pen from my trunk.

**I don't talk. EVER.**

Maybe that will get through that thick skull of his. I toss it on his lap. He picks it up and reads it before glancing at me. He raises an eyebrow in skepticism. I decide to ignore him for the rest of the trip. It's going to be one long trip.

* * *

The feast just ended. And per Professor McGonagall's orders, I am heading for her office. I get there the same time as Weasley to see her waiting for us in front of the stone gargoyle that guards her office.

"Ms. Johnson. Mr. Weasley. Follow me."

Up the spiral staircase we go and into her office, which is just as neat as I imagined for someone so strict in every other part of her life.

"Take a seat. The both of you. Now, as Head Boy and Girl, you have certain responsibilities…" that I am not going to bore you with so let's skip to the end "… Do either of you have any questions?"

Nope. I shake my head so she knows.

"I've got one." Oh, shut up Weasley. Please. "Why doesn't _Ms. Johnson_ here talk?"

"That is a personal matter that is not—" I shake my head to cut her off. Might as well tell him. Maybe it'll get him to back off. I reach for the quill and parchment that McGonagall is offering me.

**Tell him. Everything. It'll make it easier if he knows.**

She looks a bit unsure upon reading it but I nod forcefully so she understands completely that I'm one hundred percent sure.

"What I am about to tell you, Mr. Weasley, is extremely personal and is not to be shared with any other living being. Not even you family. Is that understood?"

He looks a bit shocked at how serious she sounds but nods his understanding anyway.

"Ms. Johnson suffers from something muggles call selective mutism. In the simplest terms, that means that she is physically capable of talking but her mind does not let her. There are many different causes but in Ms. Johnson's case, the cause was extreme trauma as a child." She pauses and looks at me. I nod for her to continue. Let's just get it all out there. "When she was ten years old, she and her father were kidnapped by a deranged muggle. She was forced to watch as he tortured and killed her father. He then turned on her. However, before he had the chance to finish her, the muggle police men came and rescued her. As a result of this trauma she does not speak. I expect you to respect that Mr. Weasley and respect my decision to make her Head Girl."

So now you know. That's why I don't talk. I don't want pity. I've had enough pity.

Weasley looks to be in shock. He's just staring at me, open mouthed. Looks a bit like a fish out of water actually.

Finally, he gets his voice back. "I can respect that. I would like to know why you made her Head Girl though, when it is going to put her and her inability to talk at the center of attention."

"I made her Head Girl because she is the brightest witch I have ever seen. Even more so than your aunt Hermione." And he's gaping again. "Now, if that is all, I will now lead you to the Head dormitory."

* * *

Oh, how I love McGonagall. Instead of a spoken password to get into the Heads' dorm, it's a sequence of colors on the portrait that we have to press. She really thought of everything before giving me this position.

Looking around our new dorm, it is simply a smaller version of Gryffindor tower. Except, oh yes, this couch is so much comfier than the one in front of the fireplace in the tower. I could sleep here.

Now, if only Weasley would stop staring at me. I stare back and arch an eyebrow.

He seems at a loss for what to say before he finally gets out, "I'm sorry. For the way I acted on the train. I was a prat and it was uncalled for. I apologize."

I nod and smile. The first genuine smile I've had on my face all day. Maybe Weas-Louis isn't such a prat after all.

He seems shocked by the smile but I just head off to my room while he ponders what that smile meant.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Hi again. It's morning now and time for class. Except this bed is really comfy and my private room is so nice, I don't wanna get up. Except I don't want Louis to take over the bathroom. Bed, bathroom. Bed, bathroom. Ugh. Bathroom it is.

Aaaannnnddddd yes! I beat him to the bathroom. Lucky for him, I don't take forever in the shower like some girls.

* * *

I am now sitting here in our common room. Breakfast is already half over and Louis has yet to come down. I'm heading for his room when I hear a knocking at the portrait hole. Should probably go see who it is. Though it wouldn't be Professor McGonagall because she knows the code to get in.

Like I thought. It's James Potter. Louis's best friend and partner in crime. Though he's discreet enough about the crime part that he was the one made prefect our fifth year.

"Hi. You didn't think to wake up Louis did you."

Umm, I don't think that was an actual question, but I was about to. I arch an eyebrow at him.

"Never mind. For future reference though, he never gets up on his own in the mornings. You literally have to drag him out of bed. If you don't want to be the one doing that, just come find me and I'll do it."

Alrighty. Good to know. Storing knowledge for future reference.

After thinking this, I realize that James has already gone upstairs to wake Louis. I'm heading for the portrait hole to go down to breakfast when I hear Louis call me name.

"Aurora. Wait. I want to talk to you before class." He's just poking his head out the door.

Does he not realize it's time for breakfast? I rub my belly, hoping he'll realize what I mean.

"I know." He turns back into his room. "James, will you go get us some food and bring it back here for us to eat?"

James comes out and heads for the portrait hole. "Fine. But don't expect this to become a regular occurrence."

"Thanks mate!" Louis calls out after him.

Looking back at Louis, I realize he's come down the stairs into the common room. He's also still in his sleepwear. Or maybe I should say lack thereof. Him. In boxers. I can see why the girls fall all over him. At least I have the tact so that he can't tell that I'm checking him out.

He plops down and the couch and pats the cushion next to him. What could he want to talk about? Because if he starts a pity party, I'm out of here.

"I wanted to apologize for yesterday. Again."

I grab a notebook and pen and start writing.

**You're forgiven. You don't need to keep apologizing.**

"Thanks. But that's not all I wanted to talk about." I arch an eyebrow at him. He correctly interprets it as a signal to continue. "I wanted to let you know that I really will keep your secret. You don't have to worry about me telling anyone."

**Not even as pillow talk with some girl after you've screwed her?**

"Ok. Let's set a few things straight. First, that is not appropriate pillow talk. Second, I don't actually talk to the girls normally spend time with. And third—and if you ever repeat this to anyone else I will curse you into the next century—I am a virgin. I have done a lot of things with girls, but I have never shagged one."

Wow. Got to say I wasn't expecting that one.

**Don't worry. You keep my secret and I'll keep yours.**

"Deal. Now I need to go get dressed because I don't need detention from McGonagall for showing up to class like this."

**Oh, I don't know. She might be so blinded by your body that she'll forget about detention and just enjoy the view.**

"Oh, so you think it's a good view?"

I merely shake my head and refuse to respond to that. Though I kind of walked right into that one.

* * *

A while later, James had shown up again, not only with food (Yum!) but also with our timetables. Turns out that the three of us had all our classes together, even Muggle Studies. Yes, I know it's pointless for a muggleborn to take Muggle Studies but it's so amusing! The looks on their faces when Professor Clearwater tries to explain things like vacuums and toasters to them. That class is beyond hilarious for me.

Our first class of the day is Defense Against the Dark Arts. I walk in and head for my usual seat, front and center. I adore DADA. It's my favorite class. Not only am I top of the class with my mastery of nonverbal spells, but Professor Longbottom is very nice.

Oh, I forgot to mention that. With my whole not talking thing, I had to master nonverbal spells as a first year. That's why McGonagall said I was a brighter witch than Hermione Granger Weasley. Though my brightness was born out of necessity.

Wait. Why is Louis sitting next to me? No one ever sits next to me unless it's the last seat available. And Louis always sits with James. Always.

"Hiya Uncle Neville!" Did he just say uncle?

"Louis. You know you're not supposed to call me that at school." Wait, but they're not related…

"Noooooo. I'm not supposed to call you that during _class_. And class hasn't started yet." Wow, smart aleck much?

My curiosity overwhelms me and I nudge him before scrawling on the corner of my parchment

**Uncle?**

"Oh yeah. He's just an honorary uncle. Not technically related. But we don't stand on technicalities in my family."

I nod. I wish I had honorary family members. It gets lonely just being me and Mum.

"Oh yes, Ms. Johnson. I heard about your new status. Congratulations. It's very nice having both of the Heads be from my house this year."

Awww. Professor Longbottom is so sweet. I give him one of my genuinely huge smiles so he knows I appreciate it.

It's a double period of DADA and by the time we get to the second half, it's time for the practical part. We're supposed to be learning patronuses. Not necessarily required school material but still really useful, even if only as messengers.

Only problem is, I can't think of a happy memory. At least, not one that's happy enough. All I'm getting is silvery wisps. Come on! Think! Happy memory, happy memory. Argh! I can't think of anything happy enough.

All of a sudden, a silver wolf bounds up to me and I hear Louis's voice say, "Don't worry. It takes loads of practice. No one gets it on the first try."

I stare as it fades away. Then I turn to Louis and cross my arms with an eyebrow raised. Not on the first try? Then what was that?

He shrugs apologetically. "Uncle Harry taught me a couple years ago. It took me ages to get more than wisps. You just need a better memory. It can't just be any happy memory. It has to be the absolute _happiest_ memory you have."

The absolute happiest. Ok. Let's think. Nothing from my time at Hogwarts. Nothing actually since my dad died. So before then…

I've got it! This time, when I cast the spell, rather than getting a few wisps, the silver starts to grow into a shape. I watch as it forms a monkey?

"Is that a howler monkey?" Woah. Louis's right. That's a howler monkey. How did I end up with my patronus being one of the loudest animals on earth? "Guess that means that if you did talk, you'd never shut up."

Yeah, you're not getting away with that comment. I glare at him as I send my monkey flying at his face. He stumbles back and I can't help falling into fits of silent laughter.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

It's lunch now. I'm heading for the Great Hall when Louis and James catch up to me. One on either side, they each sling an arm around my shoulders.

James is actually the one to speak first. "Well, I've been talking to my lovely Louis here, and I've made a decision."

I arch an eyebrow at him. What kind of decision? Should I be worried?

"Seeing as how you are going to be spending a lot of time with Louis with Head duties and a shared dormitory, you are now an official honorary cousin."

My eyes go wide with shock. Did he just say…

Louis is the one to understand my thoughts and answers, "See, we have lots of honorary cousins to go with our honorary aunts and uncles. And also, when one of us gets a significant other or a non-family best mate, they gain the status of an honorary cousin." Umm, I'm so not your significant other or your best mate, that's James' status. "In your case, Jamesie here is of the belief that I will never have a significant other and as such, you are the next best thing. Practically, this just means that you are allowed to spend time with the family."

I arch an eyebrow again. It's actually really annoying having James here because I can't write out my question. Because I seriously doubt he's going to be able to guess that I want to know why you have to have honorary cousin status to spend time with the family.

James is actually the one to interpret my look correctly. "Louis, my mate, I think you just made her think that our family is some kind of exclusive club. Which it most definitely is not. See here, my lovely Rory—" Did he just call me Rory? That calls for a punch to the gut. "Right, no calling you Rory. Got it. My lovely Aurora, I know you are an American muggleborn, but here on this lovely island, our family is very famous in the wizarding community. Hell, Teddy and Victoire's wedding ended up on the front page of the Daily Prophet. But I digress. There are many people at this school from wizarding families who would like nothing more than to be friends with us merely for the sake of being friends with a Weasley or a Potter. As such, all friends must be vetted and given honorary cousin status by a blood family member, not just another honorary one, before they are allowed into our inner circle. It keeps our lives from being leaked to the press."

Wow. I never thought of it that way. I nod in understanding. We have now reached the Great Hall and I try to break away, heading for my normal spot by myself on the end of the house table. But Louis and James will have none of that it seems. They are now trying to drag me towards where the Weasley-Potter clan sits for meals. I say trying because I can be quite stubborn when I wish to be. And I refuse to sit with them for meals. Luckily, Louis seems to realize that I'm not going to go willingly.

"James, you go on. I'm going to talk to Aurora for a moment."

James stares for a second before nodding and heading for his seat with his family. Louis takes this opportunity to steer me out of the Great Hall and into a, broom cupboard? I go to punch him but he sees and stops me before I can do any damage to that pretty face of his.

"Now, now. No punching. I'm not here to ravish you. I just wanted the privacy, and I thought you would too."

I punch him lightly on the arm to show my displeasure at this arrangement.

"Yes, yes. You don't want to be added to my list of conquests. I understand. Can we move on now?"

I nod stiffly. This is indeed very uncomfortable. After all, there isn't a lot of room in here…I'll leave you to imagine the rest of that thought. Let's just say, those abs I saw this morning, most definitely real.

"Alright. Now, you obviously don't want to sit with my family. But I don't think you understand how beneficial it can be for you to be a part of my family." You're right. I really don't. "You heard what I said to McGonagall last night. Your inability to speak is going to get a load of scrutiny with you in such a position as Head Girl. My family can protect you from that. You don't have to tell them why you don't talk. All I have to say is that you don't talk and you don't like people asking why. They'll respect your privacy and make sure others do too. That's what you want, isn't it?"

Wow. He's trying to protect me? I think I severely misjudged him in the past. I nod and smile.

He smiles back and goes to open the cupboard door. I stop him. I don't think he realizes how much what he's doing means to me. So. I hug him. And he hugs me back. At least, he does after he's done being shocked by what I did. As I pull back, I open the cupboard door enough to let in some light so he can see as I mouth 'Thank you'. He smiles again. Bigger this time, with more understanding. Then he leads me out of the broom cupboard and towards the Great Hall and his family.

I start to get nervous as we get closer to his crowd of a family. This is going to be so awkward. I just know it. Why did I agree to this? Why?

"Hey everybody. I've brought a newbie. This calls for introductions. This here is Aurora Johnson, Head Girl. You lot know how it goes. Al first."

Wow. There are a whole lot of them. And they have an entire procedure for introductions? I think I've just entered a whole new world. No pun intended.

"Albus Severus Potter. Sixth year. Gryffindor. Son to Harry and Ginny Potter. Call me Al."

"Rose Nymphadora Weasley. Sixth year. Hufflepuff. Daughter to Ron and Hermione Weasley. Call me Rose."

Hufflepuff? Guess they ignore the sit with your house standard.

"Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy. Sixth year. Hufflepuff. Disowned by parents and living with Harry and Ginny Potter. Honorary cousin due to best mate status. Call me Scor."

"Emily Zorinna Shuttleby. Sixth year. Gryffindor. Daughter of the Shuttlebys but spend most holidays with Ron and Hermione Weasley. Honorary cousin due to best friend and girlfriend status. Call me Em."

"Lily Luna Potter. Fourth year. Ravenclaw. Daughter of Harry and Ginny Potter. Call me Lily."

"Alice Megan Longbottom. Fourth year. Gryffindor. Daughter of Neville and Hannah Longbottom. Honorary cousin due to parents' status as honorary uncle and aunt. Call me Ally."

Wait. What's that look James is giving her? Oh, that's rich. James Potter in love with an honorary cousin. I should ask Louis about that later.

"Hugo Remus Weasley. Fourth year. Hufflepuff. Son of Ron and Hermione Weasley. Call me Hugo."

"Hiya Aurora. We've already met, which is why I'm second to last. But here's my introduction. James Sirius Potter. Seventh year. Gryffindor. Son of Harry and Ginny Potter. Call me James."

"And I'm last. For now. Louis Arthur Weasley. Seventh year. Gryffindor. Son of Bill and Fleur Weasley. Call me Louis." Wow. I think I'm in shock. But what was that about 'for now'? "This is all the family currently at Hogwarts. Though, as you know, Professor Longbottom is an honorary uncle, as is Hagrid, and McGonagall is an honorary aunt as well." At that, I raise an eyebrow in question. "Oh, she's always had a soft spot for Uncle Harry. Anyway, you can meet the rest of the family over the holidays."

I shake my head vehemently at that. No. I spend the holidays with Mum. Always.

That's when Lily speaks up. "Oh, you must come visit at least once. The boys always outnumber the girls. We need another girl to help even it out!"

I shrug a maybe as Louis says, "Don't worry Lils. I'll wear her down."

I scowl at him at that. But then I hear the question I'd been dreading. To my surprise though, it was Scorpius who asked it.

"Aurora. Do you ever talk?"

And just as he promised, Louis comes to my defense. "No. She doesn't. And that's all you, or anyone needs to know. Understand?" He looks at each member of his family in turn. They all nod. Alice is the first to say anything though.

"That's kind of cool actually. You can get away with staring at people until they feel uncomfortable when they ask stupid questions."

I smile at that.

Lily speaks up again. "You're only saying that because you're sick of people asking if you're dating Hugo."

"Of course I'm sick of it! That'd be like dating my brother!"

And the awkwardness is forgotten. I think this year is going to turn out to be pretty great after all.

_**Author's Note: You can find my James and Ally story on my profile. It's called "New Year's Eve's Eve". And don't worry, it doesn't spoil anything for this story.**_


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

_Late September_

Last class of the day. Muggle Studies. Oh how I love this class. So many lovely purebloods making fools of themselves. Oh, goodness. I think James is rubbing off on me. I can't believe I just said lovely. Next I'll be all 'lovely Louis' too. Though Louis says that it's just retaliation for him daring to speak the name 'Jamesie' out loud earlier.

Anyway, we are learning about housecleaning today. It's amazing how hard it is for wizards and witches to grasp the idea of a vacuum. I swear I haven't stopped laughing once since class began. But now it's over. And despite the fun I've been having with the Weasley-Potter clan, I can't shirk on homework if I'm going to keep my spot as top of our year. Now to escape Louis and James. Mostly James. Louis will leave me alone if I ask. He really is quite considerate, considering his reputation. James on the other hand, has less tact than a bludger.

Let's see. James is busy talking to some Ravenclaw boy. Now to make my escape.

Yes! I made it to the Heads' dorm safely. Now only Louis and Professor McGonagall can get to me.

I had just finished my potions essay when I hear the portrait hole open. I turn to see Louis climb in, followed by James, Rose, Albus, oh wow. He's brought the whole clan. Honoraries included.

He heads for me so I pull out a scrap of parchment to scribble

**What's up? Why'd you bring the mob?**

As he reads it, he laughs. "I wouldn't consider them a mob, though there are a lot of them. Actually, we wanted a quiet place to do our homework."

I raise an eyebrow skeptically as I gesture at the mob in reference to the sheer amount of noise they make when all together.

"Relatively. Even the lot of us is nowhere near as loud as the entirety of Gryffindor packed into the common room. And I was hoping you could help me with the Muggle Studies essay.

At that, a smirk breaks out across my face.

**Now, why would I help you?**

"Because if I fail Muggle Studies, I'll lose my position as Head Boy and you'll be stuck with someone much less understanding of your situation."

Too late he realizes how that sounded to me. I'm halfway up the staircase to my bedroom before he calls out after me.

"Aurora! I didn't mean it like that. I was just joking around. I'm sorry! Please come back." That last part was barely above a whisper and it was a miracle that I'd even heard it. I turn around to see him looking quite miserable.

I walk back down to him before writing in my notebook for him to read.

**Grab your stuff. We'll work in my room where it's quieter.**

He reads it in shock before hastily grabbing his schoolbag. He follows me up the staircase as he calls out over his shoulder, "We're going to go work on the Muggle Studies essay. Try to not destroy our common room while we aren't around to supervise."

As he closes the door to my room, he says, "Thanks bunches for helping me with this. Muggle Studies has always been my worst subject but Aunt Hermione would murder me if she heard I dropped it. My only question is why are you taking it?"

**Honestly?**

"Yes please. I'm always one for honesty."

**I find it extremely amusing how hard it is for wizards like you to grasp the simplest of things like toasters and vacuums. I mean, it's really not that hard.**

"Maybe not for you, but you grew up with them. I've never even seen a vacuum, let alone see it work."

**Isn't your Aunt Hermione muggleborn? Haven't you ever seen a muggle before?**

"I've seen them! I've just never, you know, interacted with one. Only Rose and Hugo are expected to spend time with Aunt Hermione's parents."

**Alright then. How about a trade? You explain your family dynamics to me and I'll do my best to explain muggles to you.**

"Deal. But my family dynamics are much more complicated than muggles. I want five free questions that you have to answer completely and honestly."

I ponder that for a bit. He could ask me about many things that I do not like to discuss. However, he'd already proven that I could trust him with my secrets.

**Deal. Now, how about a family tree to start. Blood relatives first, then the honorary ones.**

"Okay. Now, bear with me. This is going to take a while." I nod in understanding. "First, there's Granddad Arthur and Grandmum Molly Weasley. They had seven children. Oldest is my father. His name is William but he goes by Bill. When you meet him, please try not to stare. He was attacked by an untransformed werewolf during the war and the scars on his face never healed." Oh, I know plenty about unhealed scars. You don't need to warn me. "My mum is Fleur Delacour. On her side of the family, I have her parents, her sister, her sister's husband, and her sister's children. You'll probably never meet them so I won't bore you with details. Essentially, we all know each other and spend time together every summer but we aren't close like the Weasley-Potter clan is. Most likely from being in different countries for most of the year. I have two older sisters. Victoire and Dominique. As you can tell, my mum is all for the French names. I will tell you of their significant others later.

"Next below my dad is Uncle Charlie. He's single and lives in Romania where he works with dragons. He comes to visit most every holiday though and is really quite brilliant. He always has the best tales to tell. After him, there's Uncle Percy. He's married to Aunt Audrey. He can be a bit of a prat but he's always better around Aunt Audrey. They have two daughters. Molly II and Lucy. Lucy graduated last year and Molly the year before her. Neither of them have serious boys in their lives.

"After Uncle Percy are the twins. Uncle Fred died in the Battle of Hogwarts and is the namesake for Fred II. Uncle George is married to Angelina Johnson. They were on the Quidditch team together at Hogwarts. Their kids are Fred II and Roxanne, normally called Roxy. Their significant others will be explained later.

"Then there's Uncle Ron. As you probably know, he's married to Aunt Hermione and their children are Rose and Hugo. Lastly is Aunt Ginny who married Uncle Harry, with their kids, James, Albus, and Lily."

**That's just the blood relatives?**

I'm in shock. I knew his family was huge. But still. That is really freaking huge.

"Yep. How about I start with the oldest for the honorary family and move on from there?"

I barely manage a nod, still in shock from everything I've heard.

"Alright. I'm going to go through all the honorary cousins and their parents if they have honorary statuses as well before moving on to other honorary family members. First is Teddy Remus Lupin. His parents died in the Battle of Hogwarts and was raised by his grandmother and Uncle Harry who is his godfather. He did not become official family though until he married Victoire. So now, he's technically my brother-in-law, not just an honorary cousin. At his age are also his friends, Leo, Lyra, and O'Malley. They all have honorary cousin status. Next is Katarina Wood. She's been an honorary cousin all her life due to her parents' status. They're Oliver and Katie Wood and are an honorary uncle and aunt.

"After Kat is Daniel. He gained his status as Fred's partner in crime, though, at the rate he's going with Dom, he's going to be upgraded to brother-in-law soon. There's also Abigail Georgette. Though if anyone calls her anything but Georgette, she is liable to commit murder. She's Fred's girlfriend. Next is Roxy's boyfriend Mark, though no one in the family is sure how long that's going to last.

"Then there's Frank. He's Ally's older brother and they've had their status since birth as Uncle Neville and Aunt Hannah have had their status since Vic was born. Next is you, of course. Besides you, there are also the Scamander twins in Ravenclaw. They don't hang out with us so much though, because while everyone loves Aunt Luna, despite her strangeness, her husband has never really fit in with the family.

"The last two of the cousins are Scor and Em who you met at lunch. Other than that, there's just Hagrid and McGonagall. Hagrid is just Hagrid, no one calls him anything else, so we've never bothered with adding the title of Uncle. And none of kids have been able to get away with calling McGonagall 'Auntie Minnie' after starting Hogwarts. The closest any of us get to that anymore is the occasional 'Auntie' when she comes to visit during the holiday."

**That's all? No more random relatives that you'll pull out of a hat at a moment's notice?**

"Nope. That's it. Unless someone new gains honorary status."

I almost groan at that. I do, however, flop back on my bed rather defeated.

He pats my arm in what I suppose is supposed to be an understanding manner. "I know. It's hard to take in all at once."

I scowl at him now. How could he know? He's grown up with this crazy family. He hasn't had it plopped down on him at the age of seventeen.

"Now, I've given you the basics of my family. Would you prefer to work on our essay next or answer my five questions?"

At first, I want to answer essay. After all, homework has always come first for me. But then I consider the questions. Do I really want work on an essay while worrying about what he may ask me?

In the end, I decide that I'd rather get it over with now.

**Questions**

He looked surprised. He obviously wasn't expecting that.

"Alright. Let me think."

I wait impatiently as he thinks. He is taking ffffooorrrreeeevvvveeeerrrrr rr.

Finally, he speaks. "What kind of relationship did you have with your father before he was killed?"


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

_Late September_

"_What kind of relationship did you have with your father before he was killed?"_

I knew it. I knew he was going to ask about my dad. At least it wasn't as bad as it could have been. Thinking about how my dad had been while alive wasn't actually that painful. It was when I reached his death and the realization, again, that I would never see him again, at least not in this life, that the pain set in. So, I'll just focus on before I turned nine. Nothing bad can come up if I keep it that early in life. I hope.

I begin to write, making sure that Louis can see over my shoulder to read as I write.

**I was a daddy's girl. My father inherited a lot of money when I was just a baby so he never had to work. My mum didn't have to either but she chose to. Said she loved it too much not to. As such, it was mostly me and my dad growing up. He wouldn't even send me to school. He said that I would go farther in life if I wasn't being held back by a classroom full of people who weren't as quick of learners as I was. He homeschooled me up until**

There I stopped for a second. I hadn't meant to talk about that time.

Louis, understanding my hesitation, said, "That's enough. You don't have to tell me anymore unless you want to."

For this I was grateful.

**Thanks. Next question?**

At that, he sat down again to think.

I tap my fingers nervously as I wait for him to speak.

All of a sudden, it looked like a light bulb had come on in his head. "How come you can punch so damn hard? James has a bruise where you punched him earlier."

I silently laugh at that.

**Tell him sorry. I normally pull my punches so that doesn't happen.**

At that, he raises an eyebrow.

**Don't do that. That's my thing.**

"Oh? You have a thing?"

**Yes. I do. Now, do you want my answer or not?**

"Duh. I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to know."

**Well, excuse me. Anyway, my mum signed me up for self defense classes after, you know.**

"Ah. Got it."

**Next question?**

"Yeah, yeah. I need to think."

I actually sigh this time.

Then I throw a pillow at his head. Just because I can.

After throwing the pillow back at me, he asks, "What memory did you use to conjure your patronus?"

Thinking about the memory I chose, I smile. One of those secret smiles, meant just for you.

**It's one of my memories of my dad. He had some of the weirdest ideas. One of them was that my tenth birthday was a huge deal because I was finally double digits. My mum had to work on my birthday so he took me out on a daddy daughter date, just the two of us. We went out for breakfast at IHOP and I gorged myself on pancakes. Then he took me to the park and he pushed me on the swings like when I was little. Then we had a game of tag with some random kids that were at the park. For lunch, he took me to Chiles' and he had a laugh tricking me into trying really spicy food before he ordered me something normal to eat. After lunch, we stopped at Papa Murphy's and picked up two huge stuffed crust pizzas. When we got home, we watched every single Disney princess movie in a row, only stopping for dinner, and then going right back to watch until I fell asleep on the couch. He carried me upstairs and tucked me in. And when I woke up in the morning, he served me leftover pizza for breakfast in bed.**

"That sounds like a load of fun."

Looking at Louis, I realized, he had earned a little extra insight into my life, so I decided to volunteer some extra information.

**It was the next day that we were kidnapped. That was the last time I ever saw my dad smile at me in true happiness.**

He nods in understanding but doesn't speak for a while. In the end, he asks, "Have you ever considered having one of the St. Mungo's healers obliviate your memories of what happened?"

I did not think he would ask that. I was prepared for worse but I hadn't thought he would think to ask that.

**Yes. Before I knew magic was real, I used to dream about being able to forget it all. But once I found out it was a real possibility, I couldn't do it.**

"Why not?"

**If you ask that, it's your last question.**

By this point, I'm not sure I could answer even if I wanted to. Thinking about that time, it was incapacitating. It made my heart race and my body freeze in terror.

I think Louis realized he was reaching dangerous territory because he said, "Last question. What is your _absolute_ favorite food in the whole world?"

He has a shy smile, knowing he is using his last question to cheer me up. I smile a tiny smile at his attempt. He had succeeded I guess, seeing as how I wasn't frozen anymore.

**Pancakes. With applesauce, strawberries, and syrup on top.**

"Do you want some? Right now?"

I frown in confusion.

**Dinner's not for a while yet. Besides, you can't get pancakes at dinner.**

"You can in the kitchens. Especially if you're already friends with the house elves."

**Students aren't allowed in the kitchens.**

"So?"

After a second of thought, I smile and nod my agreement.

We head downstairs and past all his family. They're all too caught up in their own activities to notice us pass them and head out the portrait hole.

As we reach the ground floor, I look to Louis for guidance. He directs me to a portrait of a bowl of fruit. I stare in confusion before he reaches out and tickles the pear. It giggles and turns into a door handle. Now I'm staring in shock.

He pulls the portrait open and climbs in. I follow to see him being swarmed by house elves.

"Master Louis has come to visit us."

"What can we do for you Master Louis?"

"Who is Master Louis's friend?"

I realize they are talking about me.

"This is Aurora. She's Head Girl."

The house elves chorus, "Hello Miss Aurora!"

"Now, I don't want to take you away from dinner preparations, but is Kreacher here?"

"Yes Master Louis. Kreacher is here visiting Petal. They is by the fire."

"Come on Aurora, I want to introduce you to Kreacher."

Kreacher? Why is this house elf special?

"Aurora, this is Kreacher. He's Uncle Harry's house elf but since he worked here for a while when Harry was still in school, he comes back to visit his friends regularly."

Ahh. I nod my understanding.

"Kreacher, could you get us some pancakes with applesauce, strawberries, and syrup, please?"

"Of course Master Louis."

We settle down at a table as we wait for our food to be brought to us.

When it arrives, I drown my pancake in applesauce and syrup before putting the strawberries on top. I take a bite and nearly moan from pleasure.

Louis looks on. "You know, I've never had applesauce on pancakes before."

I gesture for him to try it. He puts on a small bit before taking a bite. His face goes from apprehension to surprise to delight.

"This is good."

I tap the bottom of his chin to remind him not to talk with his mouth full. He grins sheepishly.

Suffice it to say, we never made it down to dinner that night.

As I get ready for bed later, I realize that maybe, just maybe, it was possible to have some of my happiest memories be after my dad's death. I just had to make them happen, and it looked like Louis was the one who was going to help me do that.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

_Early_ _October_

Hello again. How's life? Mine's doing pretty good. Louis's being really sweet and his family is great. And while I haven't had a chance yet to discuss it with Louis, it's so obvious that James is in love with Ally. The only question is why he hasn't done anything about it yet. I guess I can ask Louis when I get up to our dormitory. That's where I'm headed right now. Louis asked me to help him with the evil potions essay that Slughorn assigned us yesterday.

Just then, I turn the corner and what I see next makes my jaw drop in shock and hurt. I thought Louis was growing up. I thought, I thought, maybe, he, you know, liked me, liked me. Obviously not. Seeing as how, right now, Candi Brown (yes, that's really her name) is sucking his face off and his hands are on her, _chest_ _area_.

By the time he pulls away, my face is in lockdown mode so he can't see how much I'm hurting. When he sees me standing there, his jaw drops in shock. He starts to try and say something, but I don't give him a chance to speak. I just run.

I'm nearly at our portrait hole when he catches up to me. He tries to speak again but I'm too furious to listen right now. I mean, really? He acts all sweet and nice to me while he's still screwing around with all his girls behind my back? I know we weren't officially anything, but I really thought he'd grown up some. I guess not.

To keep him from speaking to me, I do the first thing I think of: I punch him. Right in the face. From experience, I can safely say he's going to have a very big, very black eye in the near future.

I don't even stop to see how he's doing. I just turn and run to my bedroom and slam the door behind me. Luckily, I have enough sense to magically lock the door before I start to silently sob into my pillow.

I really thought he liked me. I really thought he had changed. Apparently not.


	7. Chapter 7

_**Louis' perspective of Chapter 6:**_

Chapter 7

_Early October_

Now. This is where I butt into the story so that you don't feel the need to hate on me until Aurora gets around to listening to my side of things.

I am Louis Weasley, and this is what really happened.

I was on my way to the Heads' dorm to meet up with Aurora like we planned when I literally run into Candi Brown. Now, Candi and I used to be… something. I'm not really sure what but we tended to end up in broom cupboards together on a regular basis. Before this year that is. This year I've been good. Not a single broom cupboard. Well, except for that one I dragged Aurora into at the beginning of the school year.

Now Candi doesn't take too kindly to being ignored by her former broom cupboard buddies. This is probably why she is wearing her uniform in a manner that I would normally associate with a stripper.

Before I can tell her off for wearing her uniform as such, she starts ranting at me about ditching her this year. The next thing I know, she's sucking my face off and I'm trying to push her away. Except my aim kind of sucks because I accidently pushed on her, _chest area_, rather than her shoulders. I know it's pathetic and cliche and there's no excuse, but, I can't really change what happened. So once she finally lets go, I see Aurora standing there, her face hardened with what looks like outright hatred of me. Before I can say anything, she runs off. I desperately want to run after her and explain, but I need to deal with Candi first.

And deal with her I do. I get into a good rant that makes it very clear to her that I never wish to associate with her again, and that she just lost 30 house points for her uniform and behavior. I would've taken more if I thought I could've gotten away with it without professors asking why I did it. As soon as I'm sure that she's not going to bother me or Aurora again, I run towards my dorm, hoping that that's where Aurora went.

When I catch up to her, there is a look of pure, furious hatred on her face. I try to talk but I never get the chance before she punches me in the face. I wish I could say that I was crumpled over from the shock of it, but in reality, she punches bloody hard. I don't think I'm going to be able to see out this eye for a week.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

_A week later_

Hi. Still Louis here. I'm going to be the narrator of this story for a while since Aurora is holed up in her room. Still. She's been avoiding not just me, but the entire family since the _incident_ a week ago.

This whole avoidance thing does _not_ make the family happy. It only took two days before Lily felt the need to lead an intervention.

I was in the library when Lily walked up to me. Behind her came the rest of the cousins. She came right out with it.

"_What did you do?"_

"_What did I do about what?" I think I know but I can't be sure._

"_What did you do that's got Aurora avoiding everybody? Nobody's been able to get a word out of her for ages!" Lily has always had a flair for the dramatic._

"_First off, you can never get a word out of her. And secondly, it's only been two days." I stay calm as I know that irrationality would never work with her._

"_Ah hah! So you do know why she's avoiding everybody!"_

_I sigh. "Yes, Lily, I do."_

"_Weeellll? Are you going to tell us or do I have to beat it out of you?"_

_I sit there for a moment, thinking. Did I really want Lily knowing about what happened? Or would I rather face her bat bogey hex? Not much of a choice there. "She thinks I'm still screwing Candi."_

_It is actually James that reacts badly to that statement. "Lou! Really? I thought we talked about this! You were going to get your act together this year and stop messing with all the girls. I told you it had to stop before you did something you'd regret."_

"_Oi! I didn't say that I _was_. I said that she _thought_ I was. Trust me, I'm not. I'm so over messing around with any girl that catches my fancy."_

_That settles James down. He can always be counted on to trust my word. Lily on the other hand…_

"_Then why does she think you are?" she asks suspiciously._

"_Candi jumped me. And Aurora saw before I could get her off of me. End of story."_

_Lily humfs. "Well fix it. We want her back. She's kind of awesome, you know."_

"_I do know. And I'm working on it."_

That at least got them off my back. But it brought so many painful memories to mind.

* * *

September First

* * *

I had just left James in the family compartment and was headed for the Heads' compartment. I was trying to go over everything he had told me about what the prefects and Heads did but my mind kept going back to one thing. _Who in Merlin's name was the Head Girl?_ It was driving me insane not knowing. James was no help either as he said they were all equally qualified.

I reached the door to the compartment and paused. Well, here goes everything. I opened the door to see a girl I'd never seen before sitting there. She was most definitely not one of the seventh year prefects. Though, that really isn't a requirement, since I was never prefect…

Upon realizing she wasn't going to speak, I whipped out my usual lover boy (really Veela) charm. "Hi. Louis Weasley. Head Boy Extraordinaire. At your service."

All I get is a nod. No one can resist the charm! I was flabbergasted. I didn't let her see it though. I decided that maybe provoking her might get a better response. Yeah, I know. Horrible idea. But you can't change the past. Well, you can but that requires a time turner and they were all, oh, you get what I mean.

It certainly made her angry. Luckily, I got saved from the smack I was expecting by the prefects filing in. As she seemed disinclined to speak, I ran the meeting, going through everything James had told me to.

After sending the prefects on their way, I sat down across from Aurora, though I still did not know her name at that point. I had not heard a single sound out of her yet, so I decided to take the direct approach. "So, are you ever going to say anything? Anything at all?"

No response. Not even a nod. I tried again. "Hello? You in there?"

She finally moved. I watched as she pulled a piece of parchment and a muggle pen out of her trunk. She wrote something on it before tossing it in my lap. I picked it up to see that it read,

**I don't talk. EVER.**

I glanced at her and raised an eyebrow in skepticism. Her only response was to turn and stare out the window. For the entire rest of the trip.

And now you're wondering why I didn't just leave and find James. Well, I have to admit, she intrigued me. At first, I just thought she was conceited, but after that note… now I want to know why. So I stare at her, the entire rest of the trip. And while I didn't see anything to help answer my questions, I did notice some other things.

Like the way her hair fell to the bottom of her ears with this little flip at the end. Like the way she had her bangs pinned out of the way so as not to fall in her eyes. Like the way she was completely natural, with not a touch of makeup. Growing up with two sisters, I had thought all girls believed it a necessity. But she really didn't need it. Because she was utterly gorgeous. Now, if only she would speak, or write, or anything to tell me more about her. But I still didn't even know her name yet. And it was killing me.

* * *

After the feast, I reached Auntie Minnie's, excuse me, _Professor McGonagall's_, office at the same time as the still unnamed Head Girl.

That didn't last for long though as Professor McGonagall called her "Ms. Johnson." Well, I had a surname. Now how about her first name?

Unfortunately, all she graced us with was a speech on our duties and responsibilities. At the end, she asked, "Do either of you have any questions?"

Ms. Johnson shook her head no, but I spoke up. "I've got one." And just to emphasize the fact that I _still_ didn't know her name, I said, "Why doesn't _Ms. Johnson_ here talk?"

McGonagall started some sentence that was sure to include no real information before Johnson cut her off. She wrote a note for McGonagall that put very serious expressions on both their faces before McGonagall spoke up.

"What I am about to tell you, Mr. Weasley, is extremely personal and is not to be shared with any other living being. Not even your family. Is that understood?"

I was shocked at the last comment. She knew I told my family everything. Well, I told James everything. She was utterly serious though, so I nodded my understanding.

What I heard next was not at all what I was expecting. I couldn't believe that anyone would hurt a little girl for no reason. Well, I could. I just couldn't believe that it had happened to someone I knew. And the consequences. I wondered briefly about the possibility of physical scars but I focused my attention on the psychological ones. I was used to scars. I mean, hello? My dad? But I remembered a time from when I was little. I overheard him talking to Mum. He had had a nightmare about Greyback. I couldn't believe it at the time. He was always so strong. But I guess that sort of thing leaves more than just physical scars.

And then I thought of everything Dad dealt with when we went out in public. The stares. The rude questions. I knew how much he hated it, so I tried to never make him go out with me if it wasn't necessary. But looking at the girl across from me; the defiant look on her face, as if she was daring me to judge her, I realized something. I wasn't going to let anyone do to her what other people did to my dad. Not ever. Not if I could help it.

Upon reaching that conclusion, I realized another thing. "I can respect that. I would like to know why you made her Head Girl though, when it is going to put her and her inability to talk at the center of attention."

The answer I got in response was even more shocking. It was _impossible_ for anyone to be smarter than Aunt Hermione. But apparently not, according to Aunt Minnie… and she would know.

* * *

Once we were in our dormitory, she was quick to flop down on the couch. I stared at her and she stared right back with a sardonic lift of an eyebrow. I wasn't quite sure what to say at first but finally, I settle on an apology. "I'm sorry. For the way I acted on the train. I was a prat and it was uncalled for. I apologize."

She nodded and then I was shocked to see a real smile spread across her face. Before I could think on it anymore, she simply got up and headed into her room.

The next morning, I was rudely awakened by James as per usual. And then I realized that we weren't roommates anymore and he shouldn't have been able to get into my room to wake me up.

He saw the look of confusion on my face and answered the unspoken question. "Aurora let me in."

That just made me more confused. "Aurora?"

"Yeah, you know. Female. Brunette. Stunningly gorgeous. Head Girl."

"Oh. I didn't know her first name."

"Understandable. Not many people even notice her. I only know because I had to work with her once for this prefect thing," he explained. "She is the smartest girl in school. I just didn't expect her to be made Head Girl."

"Oh." Now I was getting repetitive. "Just a moment." I went to my door and poked my head out the door. "Aurora. Wait. I want to talk to you before class."

She rubbed her belly and I realized that if James had come to wake me, I must be missing breakfast. "I know." I turned back into my room. "James, will you go get us some food and bring it back here for us to eat?"

Ever a good sport, James agreed and headed out. I shouted my thanks after him.

I head down my stairs and plop down on the couch. I probably should have gotten dressed first but the look on her face was worth it. I of course, being the gentleman that I am, allowed her to believe that I hadn't noticed her checking me out. She was at least more discreet than most girls would be in her situation.

I speak up. "I wanted to apologize for yesterday. Again."

She was quick to write in a notebook that,

**You're forgiven. You don't need to keep apologizing.**

"Thanks. But that's not all I wanted to talk about. I wanted to let you know that I really will keep your secret. You don't have to worry about me telling anyone."

Her next comment threw me for a loop.

**Not even as pillow talk with some girl after you've screwed her?**

I hadn't realized that even she had heard of my reputation. A reputation that, while earned, was not completely true. "Ok. Let's set a few things straight. First, that is not appropriate pillow talk. Second, I don't actually talk to the girls I normally spend time with. And third—and if you ever repeat this to anyone else I will curse you into the next century—I am a virgin. I have done a lot of things with girls, but I have never shagged one."

I definitely shocked her with the last point, but she recovered quickly.

**Don't worry. You keep my secret and I'll keep yours.**

I wasn't going to turn down an offer like that. "Deal. Now I need to go get dressed because I don't need detention from McGonagall for showing up to class like this."

Her response to that threw me for another loop as I hadn't realized yet that she had quite a mouth on her, in a manner of speaking.

**Oh, I don't know. She might be so blinded by your body that she'll forget about detention and just enjoy the view.**

I couldn't let a comment like that slide so I asked, "Oh, so you think it's a good view?" She never responded but I still knew that she liked the view as much as I liked the view of her.

* * *

Present Time

* * *

And what a view it is. While I can still get that view in class, I'm still dying here. I hadn't realized how big a part of my life she'd become, until she wasn't a part of it anymore. We have every single class together, and yet now she makes sure that I can't sit next to her. She never made a sound, but it feels infinitely quieter without her next to me. No little questions scribbled on the corner of her parchment, no sarcastic comments in response to stupid questions other kids ask.

I miss her. So much. But she won't even look at me anymore. And yet, she is still breathtakingly gorgeous to me. I spend every class staring at her now, hoping that she'll glance at me, just once. She never does, but just being able to see her, makes me so happy. The only thing that could make me happier would be if she was happy. Because I can tell she's not. She looks miserable. And it's all my fault.

I haven't even been able to get near her once in the last week. Which is why I have enlisted James' help. He's a lovable bloke and, in the while since Aurora met him, he's won her over. I just hope it's enough.

I let him into the Heads' dorm and he is currently trying to get Aurora to talk to him. Well, write to him. Oh, you know what I mean. I am currently in my room, waiting for James to give me the all clear to head over to Aurora's. Hopefully, that 'all clear' will happen sometime in the next millennium. Not too sure about that though.

* * *

"James! Finally! What'd she say?"

"She said she'll listen to what you have to say but it better be explained really quick and really good or she'll give you a matching black eye for the one you've already got."

See, I probably could've gone to Madam Pomfrey to get my eye fixed, but I was hoping it'd make Aurora feel bad about punching me… I don't think it's helped much, since she hasn't looked at me long enough to even notice that my eye was practically swollen shut for the first few days.

I head over to Aurora's room and knock on the door. It swings open and I see her sitting in the middle of her bed. It looks like she's been crying. Now I feel even worse about what happened. I never meant to make her cry. I mean, it wasn't intentional on my part, but still. I hate seeing her miserable. It makes me feel awful, especially since I put her in that state.

I walk forward tentatively before sitting down on the end of her bed. "Hey. James said you were willing to listen to my side of the story."

She nods without looking up. It drives me insane, because her face is normally so expressive that it doesn't matter that she doesn't actually say anything. But right now, I couldn't tell you what she was thinking to save my life.

"I'm going to start off by saying it really wasn't what it looked like." And so I explain to her everything that happened from my perspective. She doesn't move the entire time I'm talking, but when I finish, she reaches for her notebook.

**Why did you refuse Candi?**

I figure I can't dig myself into any deeper of a hole than I am already in so I go all out in my answer. It's probably going to hurt like hell when she still rejects me, but I can't blame her. I'm the one that hurt her first. If I had just run the other way the moment I saw Candi, this would never have happened. "I refused Candi, because I'm not interested in that kind of relationship anymore. I want a real relationship now. And I was kind of hoping that, you know, I could have that relationship with you. Because, I'm falling for you. Hard. And I'll do anything to get you. Including changing my ways and ditching all the girls I used to have falling over me. I just want you. If you'll have me." And now to wait. I really hate waiting. But I don't want to push her and make her hate me again. I don't think I'd survive if she hated me for the rest of the year. I need her to forgive me. Not even for myself, but for her. So that she can be happy spending time with my family, and maybe even me. I want her in my life, even if I can't have her romantically. As long as she's happy.

At last, she starts to write.

**I'll think about it. Now leave.**

Well. At least she didn't punch me. I was honestly expecting to get punched again. Maybe I still have a chance. Pushing isn't going to help though, so I get up and head for the door. As I'm about to pull it open to leave, I turn around and say, "Just because you're on bad terms with me, doesn't mean you can't spend time with the rest of my family. I hope you know that. They miss you." As an afterthought, I tack on, in barely a whisper, "but not as much as I do."

* * *

"So? What'd she say?"

James never was one for patience. But he's my best friend. Has been since we were born. So I accept him, minor flaws and all. "We just have to wait. Don't pester her about it either. I don't think that'll help my case. But I made it clear that avoiding me didn't have to mean avoiding the rest of you too. Hopefully you'll see her around more now. I'd like to think you'll keep an eye on her for me?"

"Of course. We all will. She's family now, even if she never forgives you."

"Ever the optimist I see." But I really hope it doesn't come to that.


	9. Chapter 9

_**Author's Note: Remember, italics mean flashback. In case you can't figure it out, it's back to Aurora's pov.**_

* * *

Chapter 9

_A week later (again)_

Hi. I'm back.

I should be sheepish or ashamed for checking out on the world for so long… but I'm not. Because it was what I needed. It gave me time to think. To gain some perspective. On me. On my life. On my relationship with Louis. If it can even be called that. At least, not yet.

You see, I've forgiven him. But I haven't told him yet. Because if I do, he's going to want a response to the other thing he said. The part about him loving me. And I want to be one hundred percent certain about my response before I give it. It's only fair.

See, I've had a lot of time to myself the past two weeks. The first week was spent mostly stewing about what I'd seen and was really a waste of my time. Well, maybe not so much a waste, but still not very desirable. So really, it wasn't a waste, because it led to Louis getting James to get me to let him explain. Which led to his confession.

_I was in my room one evening working on my essay for Transfiguration. I had just finished and was waiting for the ink to dry before rolling it up when James burst into my room. He came over and dropped onto the edge of my bed, barely missing the still wet essay. While it would have been funny to see him get ink on his pants, I was still happy he hadn't ruined my hard work._

_I was curious as to why he had come in. I hadn't been talking to any of the Weasley-Potter clan for the last week and was not expecting his appearance. I arched an eyebrow at him. (He had gotten pretty good at reading my expressions.)_

"_How are you?"_

_I shrug. That obviously was not the point behind his visit._

"_You're not going to make this easy for me are you?"_

_I smirk and shake my head._

"_Alright. You need to let Louis explain what happened to you. It's not what you think."_

_Before he had even finished, I was shaking my head. I had no desire to talk to the man-whore. I was quite happy to never see him again._

_At least, that's what I had been telling myself. In truth, I was miserable. I missed our banter. I missed the feeling of belonging that I got when I was with his family. I missed… _him.

_**Why should I?**_

"_I've seen you this last week. Both of you. You're both utterly miserable without the other. Louis made a mistake, but it's not the mistake that you think he did. All I'm asking for, all _he's_ asking for is five minutes. Five minutes and then it'll be your decision if you ever talk to him again."_

_I pondered that. James was right about me being miserable. And five minutes really wasn't that much. And I could always tell him to piss off afterwards._

_**Alright. I'll listen. But he better make it quick or he'll get a matching black eye.**_

"_Done."_

So Louis confessed his feelings. And here we are, come full circle again.

Because that is what I've spent most of the last week thinking about.

_I couldn't believe him. I couldn't believe that he was serious. Did he really expect me to believe that he had abandoned his promiscuous ways just for me? The nerve of him. No man-whore like him would reform just for me._

_Just for me. I think that is what really makes it hard to believe. Why would _any _guy want me? Why would any guy love me? I was broken, damaged. I couldn't talk. I wasn't beautiful to begin with. Add in the scars and I'm not an attractive girl._

_There was simply no reason for him to like me. To fall in _love_ with me._

_And yet, he claimed he had. Or at least, he claimed he was half way there. I guess… it was _possible_. We did live together. And (not including this last week) we spent nearly all our time together. And he did it willingly. He didn't have any reason to talk to me beyond Head duties. But he did. So, maybe it was true… maybe I could believe him._

Once I'd figured that out, I had to decide whether or not I should forgive him. But once I realized I believed him, it was really a simple matter to forgive him.

I know some people do not find it so easy to forgive, but I have found that it makes life much more enjoyable if you do. After all, I had to forgive my mum for spacing out on me after my dad died. I had to forgive my old friends for not knowing how to act around me. I had to forgive all the other students at Hogwarts for never talking to me. But once I forgave them, I was able to move on and find things to be happy about. So I chose to forgive Louis.

That brought on the real issue though. I wanted to tell him that I forgave him, but I hadn't had time to think about his confession yet. Not really at least. And I didn't think I'd really be able to think it through if he was pressuring me to give him an answer. Not that he's the sort to pressure me for an answer, but if I was spending time with him on a regular basis again, I'd still feel the pressure of it weighing down on us both every time we talked. He would perhaps let something slip to remind me of what he'd said. I wouldn't know how to respond. It'd get awkward. And the pressure would be there. So I haven't told him yet about forgiving him. I hope to do so soon though. I've missed spending time with him.

After all, he's the first real friend I've had since my dad died.

_I had just woken up in the hospital. There was no one around and for a moment, I started to freak out. Before it could become a full blown panic attack, a nurse came in. She was elderly and looked tough but nice. She broke through my panic with a practiced air._

_I went to speak, to thank her for the help. But I couldn't get the words to come out. I sat there gaping, opening and shutting my mouth repeatedly, trying to get a sound out, before the nurse realized what was going on._

_With a motherly manner, she rested her hand on my shoulder—gently and slowly, so as not to startle me—and spoke, "It is a common occurrence for victims of violent crime to lose the ability to speak. Not through any physical damage, but through a psychological block. Perhaps, if I bring in your mother, you would feel more comfortable?"_

_I nodded mutely. After all, what else could I do?_

_She left me to my thoughts before my mum walked in. Upon seeing me conscious, she rushed over and collapsed half on top of me, clutching at me as she sobbed._

_When she touched me, I tensed up involuntarily. Luckily, she was too distraught to notice. After a moment, I relaxed enough to reach out a hand and gently rub her back._

_Once she was calmed, she looked at a loss for words. Finally, she said, "Monique and Kavana are outside if you want to see them. They were very happy to hear you were going to heal completely from your injuries."_

_Hearing my best friends' names, I grinned. I couldn't wait to talk to them. I nodded eagerly._

_My mum left and returned moments later with Monique and Kavana, my best friends since kindergarten._

_They tackled me enthusiastically._

"_You're awake!"_

"_You're alive!"_

"_I was so worried!"_

"_So was I!"_

"_When'll you be back at school?"_

"_School's so boring without you!"_

_They continued like that for a while before they realized I had yet to speak. Kavana was the first to break the new silence. "Well? Don't you have something to say?"_

_And the gaping returned._

They didn't come to see me again after that incident and upon my return to school, I was resolutely avoided.

The next year had been bad, but then I found out about Hogwarts. I was excited at first, thinking things would be different there. But by the end of the first week, I had realized something many purebloods still fail to grasp: Wizarding kids aren't really different from Muggle kids and Pureblood kids aren't really different from Muggleborn kids. At least, not in the ways that matter.

Louis was the first to really talk to me at Hogwarts. I know we were thrown together by our positions, but that didn't require him to talk to me, to apologize to me, to befriend me. And that's exactly what he did. And by extension, I was adopted in the Weasley-Potter Clan, and suddenly, I had a bunch of friends.

So, keeping all this in mind, the question I must answer is this: am I interested in Louis romantically? And if so, am I willing to risk losing his friendship by pursuing a relationship with him?

Am I interested in Louis romantically…

Well. He's very sweet to me… but he's been completely ignoring girls' feelings for years.  
He's very good looking… but he's used that as an excuse to get girls to do anything with him.  
Aaaaaahhhhhh! He's such a walking contradiction! What am I supposed to think?

And then Lily chose that moment to interrupt me. See, I've been sitting here in the library for quite a while, pretending to study, while I try to figure all this out.

So, just then, Lily plops down in the chair across from me. She stares at me intently for a moment before asking, "What are you thinking about so hard?"

I pause, unsure of whether I want to say anything or not to her. I realize though that she might be able to help me.

**How do you know if you like a guy as more than a friend?**

Lily arched an eyebrow at me. "You mean, romantically?"

I nod.

"Hmm. Can you see yourself snogging him?"

I nod.

"Can you see yourself _enjoying_ snogging him?"

I pause before nodding again.

"Do you get jealous when you see him with other girls?"

Well, if the Candi incident is any consideration… I nod.

Lily pauses for a moment then, thinking. Finally, she asks, "Can you see yourself spending the rest of your life with him?"

Can I? I mean, I've missed him horribly. He's been such a constant the last couple months… I think… Yes.

I nod.

"Then you are most assuredly interested in him romantically. Now, go tell Louis that so he'll stop moping about."

I stare in shock as she prances away, a self-satisfied smirk on her face. I guess I really shouldn't be surprised that she figured it out. I wonder if she's said anything to Louis…

* * *

After dinner that evening, I found myself sitting on the couch in the Heads' dormitory, staring into the fireplace. Louis had yet to return from dinner and I didn't want to miss him. I want this settled tonight. I'm sick of not having him as a part of my life. And I had realized while I was sitting here waiting for him, that I may never have another chance with a guy that can see past my silence. And so, I decided it really is worth it to risk the friendship if it means the possibility of something more. Something I had never thought I would be able to have in my life.

A short while later I hear the portrait swing open. I turn to see Louis climbing through. As he looks around the room, his gaze passes right over me before swinging back to make eye contact. He seems shocked to see me sitting there. Hesitantly, he says, "Hi…"

I wave him over and motion for him to sit down next to me.

"So… how are you?"

I wave away his attempt at casual conversation and pass him my notebook. I hoped he didn't look too closely though, otherwise he'd see all the pages I tore out as I drafted what I want him to read. I had ended up going with short and sweet.

**I forgive you. And I'll have you. If the offer's still open.**

As he reads, his eyes open in shock and he looks up to meet my gaze. I give him a small smile and his face breaks into a blinding grin. I return the grin before pulling him into a hug.

Pulling back, he says, "Thank you for giving me a chance."

I wave away his thanks.

He stares at me, caressing my cheek with his hand. "Can I… can I kiss you now?"

I nod shyly. It would be my first.

He starts to lean towards me. I close my eyes and tilt my head up. My lips part slightly… and then his lips are on mine. A gentle pressure, slightly hesitant. I reach my arms up around his neck and pull him closer with one hand while my other threads through his hair. His lips become firmer against mine, more confident. I feel his tongue run along my lower lip. I part my lips to allow him entrance. And then I am lost in the passion of the kiss. My senses are overwhelmed. I feel him surrounding me, loving me.

After a moment, he pulls back. I cling to him, not wanting it to end. He shakes his head. We are both breathing heavily. He leans his forehead against mine. "Unless you are prepared to do more than just kiss, it is best if we stop now."

I hesitate. I want him to kiss me again. But I should probably not test his will power. I nod sadly.

He notices my expression and laughs breathily. "Trust me, I would like to kiss you more too, but with you, my will power is not as strong as normal."

I smile and reach for my notebook.

**I'll take that as a compliment.**

"It is. It really is."

* * *

_**Author's Note: **__**I outlined the rest of the story so I'm thinking 14 chapters total, length inconsistent. Subject to change.**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**Author's Note: It's been ages, I apologize. But here it is, the next chapter. I hope you like it.**_

* * *

Chapter 10

_Late October_

Huh? What?

I open my eyes to find Louis standing over me after having shaken me awake. I scowl at him. It's Saturday after all. It's a day to _sleep in_.

"It's the Gryffindor-Slytherin Quidditch match today."

Oh, yeah. Boys and their sports. Well, I know the game doesn't start right away… I reach out and grab Louis' hand, tugging so he tumbles onto the bed next to me. I let go of his hand to pull his face close for a kiss. Like all our kisses recently, it gets heated quickly. Because, as much as it may bug me when other girls stare, he really does have a hot body. And when we're like this I can feel the muscles flexing under my hands. Yum.

He's the first to pull away, like always. I have little to no restraint when it comes to him. Not that I'm ready to go much further, I just really enjoy making out with him. Or _snogging_ as the Brits would say. I love that word. Snogging. Such a funny word. He pulls my hands away, holding them between us.

"'Rora, not a good idea."

I huff before leaning in to kiss him again, lightly this time. I do know he's trying to be a gentleman, but sometimes I wish he wouldn't try so hard. Taking pity on him, I pull away and roll off the bed to get dressed. I could have climbed over him, but he hadn't taken too kindly to that last time. _Apparently,_ cold showers are quite uncomfortable.

I know, I know. I'm a tease, but he makes it so easy. And he's the one that keeps stopping us. I don't feel so bad when he's leaving me horny too.

I don't try to tease as I get dressed though. I know he's got his eyes closed, so it doesn't much matter anyway. I don't dress provocatively either. One, because it's uncomfortable, but also because it is too dang cold out to be showing any skin besides my face.

Hmm. That actually makes me feel better. I guess I'm only really a tease when it comes to kissing. Does that even count then?

Anyway, I finish bundling up for the game and tap him on the shoulder. He opens his eyes to see me with barely more than my eyes showing.

He starts to laugh.

I pull my scarf down to stick my tongue out at him.

"How are you not used to the Scotland winters yet? You've been living here every winter since you were eleven."

**It's not my fault I have to body fat to keep my warm.**

I've taken to keeping an extra notebook stashed in my coat pocket for when I don't have my book bag with me. It comes in handy.

He just shakes his head at me before motioning to the door. "After you, my lady."

I curtsey to him before going downstairs. I can hear his laughter behind me.

* * *

After climbing out of the portrait hole, I reach for Louis' hand. He pulls away at first. That sounds bad, but we haven't told anyone we're together yet. We're just enjoying being together. I snag his hand again and gesture around. He looks and realizes what I'd already seen; there's no one around to see us. They're all at the pitch already.

As we head downstairs, I half listen to him rambling on about the odds for the game. Before this game had gotten close, I hadn't realized he was such a Quidditch fan. It must be genetic though as all the boys and most of the girls of the Weasley-Potter clan have been going on about this game for weeks.

I finally squeeze his hand a bit, and he pauses to look down at me. (Have I mentioned how much I love that he's taller than me? Whenever he holds me, I feel all safe and warm.)

"Right, you don't really care. I'll be shutting up now."

I smile, shake my head, and go up on tiptoe to brush my lips against his, barely a kiss.

**I care because you care. But I don't really need to hear all the odds of this and that.**

What I don't think he realizes is that this will be only my second Quidditch game ever. I went to the first one my first year, but once I realized it was just like Muggle sports, I lost all interest. I only agreed to go because he wants me there.

As we reach the ground floor, I pull Louis away from the front doors and head off towards the kitchens. I haven't eaten yet, and I'm starting to get hungry.

Once he realizes where we're heading, he grins sheepishly, saying, "Oh, yeah. Sorry, forgot you weren't at breakfast."

**Oh really? Am I that forgettable?**

He's got that deer-in-the-headlights look perfect. "No. No. Not at all. It was just crazy hectic and you're so quiet, I mean, duh, of course you're quiet, but you normally nudge me or whatever and you weren't there so I wasn't getting nudged and—"

I lean up and kiss him gently to stop his babbling. Smiling, I pat his cheek lovingly and shake my head at his foolishness.

"Wait. Does that mean I'm not in trouble?"

I pretend to think, but he gets that scared look again, and I take pity and nod. He smiles, relieved.

* * *

After our pit-stop at the kitchens, we reach the pitch just in time. Louis leads me to his family's regular seats, where there is just enough room for us, before dropping my hand, making it appear as though he was making sure I didn't get lost in the crowd. At least, that's what everyone must have thought as no one made any comments about it. Or they may have just not noticed; with the game starting, everyone's attention was riveted on the field.

I'm not even going to attempt to explain what's happening on the field as I have no clue what it would be that'd I'd be explaining. Mostly, I'm just watching Louis' face and marveling at how excited he gets about a game.

Partway through the game, Louis finally speaks to me. "Did you see that, 'Rora? That was a beautiful shot. Absolutely beautiful."

I just shake my head, in answer as well as in disbelief at his comment.

James chooses that next moment to speak. "Did you just call Aurora 'Rora, Louis? And she _let_ you?"

He's obviously remembering me punching him for using that same nickname earlier in the year. I have no clue how to answer that without announcing what Louis and I are to each other, so I just shrug and smile coyly.

"That's not fair! How come he can call you that and I can't?"

Louis saves the day with his response. "She just likes me better than she likes you. Isn't it obvious? You can be quite obnoxious after all."

James pretends to take serious offense at that, turning up his nose and facing away from us, but everyone can tell he's faking it.

* * *

The match is finally over, and Gryffindor has beaten Slytherin by a slim twenty points. It's time for lunch now, so the clan all heads to the Great Hall to eat.

Sitting down at the Gryffindor table, I end up on Louis' right with Lily on his other side. I wasn't paying much attention to the conversation as it was all surrounding the game and I didn't understand half of what they were saying anyway. Instead, I occupy myself with trailing my hand up and down Louis' thigh under the table where no one can see. Just as I'm getting near the top of his thigh, Lily leans into him and whispers something I can't hear in his ear. Combined with my hand being where it was, he blushes crimson.

Suddenly, everyone in the family is focused on him. The questions start flying.

"What happened?"

"What'd you say, Lily?"

"Does this have something to do with the girl that's been making you so happy the last few weeks?"

"Wait, there's a girl?"

"Who's the girl?"

"Has she been vetted?"

On and on it goes, never leaving enough time for Louis to actually answer any of the questions. That's probably a good thing though as I don't think he is coherent enough to believable lie right now.

I decide to rescue him though.

**Louis, you forgot that thing we have to plan, didn't you? We still need to do that this afternoon.**

"Oh, yeah, that. Oi, we've got Heads' business to conduct. We'll see you lot at dinner."

* * *

_Back in the Heads' dorms_

**So, what was it that Lily said?**

"Oh, nothing."

I raise an eyebrow at him skeptically.

He tries to stare me down, but fails. "Oh, all right. She was asking me if you were wearing the scarf to hide a hickey. But that wasn't why I was blushing." He gets a bit accusatory now. "I was blushing because of where _your hand_ was."

I give him a fake innocent smile, tilting my head and batting my eyelashes at him.

"Well, you do know, you can't just do that and not give anything more."

**I know. Why do you think I did it?**

There's no more talking after that as a heated snogging session commences.

* * *

_That evening_

Sadly, on our way to dinner, there is no hand holding, as the corridors are just crowded enough for plenty of people to see us, but not so crowded that no one would notice our hands.

That is why, when a fourth year boy trips me, I fall flat on my face, barely catching myself in time to avoid breaking my nose against the floor.

As Louis is helping me up, I hear the boy start taunting me. "What? The poor little mute girl can't even make a sound when she's in pain? How'd you make Head Girl anyway? It's not like you can do your job without talking. McGonagall probably just felt sorry for you."

I feel Louis' hands leave my arms, and before I can stop him, he is jinxing the boy to kingdom come. I let him continue for a bit before stopping him. After all, while I may not condone that sort of behavior by the Head Boy, I do condone such behavior done by my boyfriend.

I tug Louis along, heading for dinner. I just want him to forget the incident. Things aren't that easy though.

"Are you alright? You do know that was completely uncalled for, right? You're a great Head Girl and—"

I squeeze his bicep to shut him up before putting a finger to my lips in a hushing gesture. I really just want him to drop it. It's not like I haven't had to deal with it before. And it doesn't hurt so badly when I have Louis. He's a great friend and boyfriend, and he hasn't bugged me about talking since the first day we met.

It really hasn't been that long, yet it feels like an eternity since then. He's been so great about everything. I just hope one day I can repay him.

Maybe one day, I will speak for him.

* * *

_**Author's Note: So, that was mostly unplanned... I didn't mean for it to get that suggestive at all... Did it work that way though? REVIEW PLEASE**_


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